still hate life………… still sick of all the lies and bullshit…………still think life is one big lie and dissapointment ……..nothing and no one can change that im sry but thats just how i feel ……….. i need my heart to be liberated and set free from all the misery….every man meets death alone….

shallow people seriously piss me off nothing maters to them but looks alond i wish i knew what it was like to be the beter looking guy

never woke up died alone

i did my time and now its my turn to stop being haunted


One thought on “

  1. If you think no one knows what you’re going through, you’re closing your mind.  I can relate to some of the things on your list.  USED.. yes, definently.  Abused.. most FUCKING definently.  EXTREMELY depressed to the point of cutting and attempted suicide twice.  Therapy to the point of embarrassment.  Father with no job who’s addicted to everything imaginable (besides drugs, I’ll give him that.)  Labeled, judged.. we all are.. some more than others, I definently am.. I’m always called a “freak” and shit, it’s bullshit but we have to deal with it, right?  Panic attacks.. and yes.. the worst fucking pain in my life.. the one person I loved so much I gave my entire world to him.. shattered my heart into little pieces.  I haven’t talked in him in more than two months and I still cry over the motherfucker.  The worst part was, he emotionally abused me for two months.. he broke my heart more and more every single day… I stabbed myself for him, I overdosed for him, I put myself into the hospital for him.. and he just left me for dead.  I KNOW how that pain feels, I fucking know, and it sucks when you go to sleep wishing that you don’t wake up.  But if you think it’s going to be there forever, it will.  You have to want change and you have to accept change.  For one, stop fucking worrying about what people think.. who gives a fuck?  Most of the people who say shit in Catty are just insecure with their own selves.    Two, if you do drugs.. STOP IT.  That shit will fuck you up worse than you already are.  I know it might make you feel better short term but it’s a vicious cycle and long term it just fucks you over.  I know you have friends and I see the loving comments on your posts.. you need to embrace those relationships and make the most out of them.  I’m not trying to come off as a therapist.. just someone who’s BEEN there, someone who IS there and is struggling right along with you.  Catty’s a small place, I’m sure I’ve seen you around.. and I didn’t judge you, so at least one person didn’t.. let that be a light of hope that not all people do.  Keep your head up, Joe Troxell.. life has it’s ups and downs, I promise you things will be better with time.  Some things always remain, but the pain supresses in time.  Love, Arika.

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